Exhausted, burned out, and isolated in your chaotic life? Self-care isn’t enough. In each episode of Hoorf! Podcast, Elle and her guests discuss the challenges of living compassionately with honesty and humor. Honoring Angela Davis’ definition of the word radical – that “grasping at the root” – we are digging at the roots of systemic problems in a conversational format, getting to know our neighbors, and using creative expression to heal ourselves and our world.

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still connected, still tired: a season one recess [S1E16]

We did it! Sixteen episodes, twelve guests, one dog. It’s time for a summer recess. But first, several months and over a dozen episodes wiser, Elle caps off Season 1 with a kind of epilogue in a style similar to how we started, a bit of an audio essay. The State of Hoorf, but less formal, perhaps more rambly, but definitely more gratifying for those of us who enjoy discussing disability, pain, politics, love, and revolution.

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it’s not a quirk, it’s a symptom: growing up undiagnosed with Katrina Billing [S1E15]

In this season’s penultimate episode, Elle interviews her younger sister Katrina about growing up autistic and undiagnosed, and how learning to navigate both their neurodivergences and their mental health has facilitated a relationship that wasn’t possible 20 years ago. Elle and Katrina have been described as “exactly the same but totally different” as well as “the day version and the night version”; in this episode you get to meet Science Katrina, the perfect foil to Humanities Elle.

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St. Winkus, pandemic pets, and the origins of Hoorf! [S1E14]

A recent survey by the ASPCA found that 23 million American families brought home a new pet during the “height” of the COVID-19 pandemic. Social media feeds – and let’s be real, our family and friend group chats! – are filled with everyone’s pandemic furbabies. Elle and her deaf dog Winkie came together prior to the first lockdowns of 2020, but like many human-animal companionships, things got weird pretty quickly once we started the work-from-home life. This special episode of Hoorf! Podcast invites you to join our celebration as we share some of the little moments that inspired our movement of care and creative practice.

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games, experience, and community. with guest Nicholas Leeman [S1E13]

Who is in charge of the game? Join Elle and her guest, board game reviewer and game show host Nicholas Leeman, for a conversation about what makes a game. Nicholas groks games; Elle is easily overwhelmed by complex gameplay. Instead of an odd-couple episode, we talk instead about how much control we have over our experiences, what it takes to win, and the roles we take on in collectivist work.

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love what you love! nurturing the Artist Soul with Connie Solera [S1E12]

The museum is on fire! You only have a few seconds to save a few priceless works of art– what do you grab? Artist and teacher Connie Solera loves what she loves. And she teaches by that example. What we choose to save from the museum – and by extension what we choose to paint, compose, sculpt, write, create – offers insight into our inner worlds. Connie and Elle share an earnest, funny, and deeply human conversation on art and life in this episode. Don’t miss it!

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“I try to bring some light” – dependency and recovery as a small-town gay with guest Karl Dulitz [S1E11]

Elle’s long-time friend Karl Dulitz joins the ‘cast this episode to dig into some tender topics. In between the musings about getting old, Karl offers a candid account of his journey through alcohol dependency and the frustrations of accessing treatment, leaning into creative practices for mental and emotional health, and using his voice to uplift others.

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disabled people are hot. and hilarious. and maybe horny. a conversation with Andrew Gurza. [S1E10]

Award-winning disability consultant and potato-chip enthusiast Andrew Gurza joins Elle for her most raucous interview yet. It’s an action-packed episode, touching on their dreams of disability-centered cooking shows, the tensions of caregiving and care-receiving, the ableism of queer spaces, and that time Andrew was carried up the stairs by a really hot muscled bouncer.

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WE HOORF BOOKS! new year, new(ish) books with Elle and Ricki [S1E8]

Here at Hoorf!, we don’t hustle. Book challenges are not designed for the way our brains and bodies function, so our New Year/New(ish) Books Special Episode offers a spoonie-sized recap of our fav reads from 2022, and a forecast of our TBR stack for 2023. Elle and Ricki manage to squeeze in a decent array of genre: art, manga, religion, fiction, and a manifesto for good measure.

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claiming space for rituals of disabled joy, with guest Isabel Abbott [S1E7]

As our bodyminds change, so too do our routines and creative practices. Elle sits down with guest Isabel Abbott to talk burnout, silence, plant care, and carving out small pockets of joy to nurture ourselves. Join in as these two spoonies share a heartfelt laugh over their affinity for a good complaining session with fellow disabled folks. Nothing quite compares to the camaraderie of shared experience.

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care, girl bosses, and butts: a serious (?) conversation with Mer Yayanos [S1E6]

Elle and her guest Mer Yayanos share a deep, abiding appreciation for their therapists, slow moments with partners, creative collaborations, and butts. Most of this episode is dedicated to the first bits – these two queerdo artists dive into their particular feminisms, sharing parts of their burnout and healing journeys, and why they won’t be breaking any glass ceilings. Also butts are funny, even (and especially) when you’re talking about your trauma.

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I don’t want your pity, I just need help! with Kim Hopson [S1E5]

Accessibility doesn’t have to suck! Artist Kim Hopson was born with one arm; she is really, really tired of the limiting narratives for disabled folks, finding herself the recipient of either pity, or the “attagirl!” for performing basic life tasks. What’s more, she’s tired, from parenting her two young children in a world built for people with two hands. Host Elle Billing and Kim spend this episode digging into all the ways disabled folks have to hack our ways through barriers on a daily basis, and the challenges and joys of getting the help we need.

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it’s everything and it’s nothing: painting infinity with Kat Furtado [S1E4]

San Diego-based artist Kat Furtado creates complex layered art out of beautiful, small moments of wonder. In this episode, Kat shares her journey from using art as a way to quiet her mind after the birth of her first child, to becoming a full time artist. It’s a jam-packed episode, full of small moments and unexpected side trips: the Netflix infinity documentary, hummingbirds, dinosaurs, and a few expected pit stops to talk about disability.

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deconstruction, community, and healing from and through Christianity, with Chloe Specht [S1E3]

In this episode, Elle and her guest, queer and autistic theologian Chloe Specht, discuss religious deconstruction, the process of identifying and unlearning harmful doctrines and choosing which beliefs and practices (if any) we carry with us into our adulthoods. While we may find ourselves deconstructing for myriad reasons, this conversation touches on personal experiences with homophobia, and leads with a desire to build inclusive spaces of healing and liberation.

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reading bell hooks to love better, and with intention, with Ricki Cummings, poet and editor of Hoorf [S1E2]

What is love? And how can we love better if we haven’t first come to an agreement on what love even means? On this episode, Elle and her guest, Chicago poet and Hoorf! editor Ricki Cummings, dig into their shared affinity for bell hooks’ All About Love. Their wide-ranging conversation touches on the frustrations of domestic labor, lonely chickens, and giving our children a better template for understanding loving relationships.

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every thing and every body is connected, and I am tired [S1E1]

Exhausted, burned out, and isolated in your chaotic life? Join artist and caregiver Elle Billing for the introductory episode of Hoorf! as she shares her journey through burnout, illness, and disability, and how she is cultivating connections to heal from the pain and exhaustion of living today. It’s Hoorf! 101, and you’re invited.

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