I had this idea to write a blog post about time management for artists. for neurodivergent artists. for spoonie artists.

I even wrote the post! In sum, it was over 1,600 words and had a decent breakdown of tools and strategies for managing time, managing energy, managing projects.

It wasn’t my best work, but it felt like a passable, competent resource post.

Then this week happened. and now I find the entire thing laughable.

Friends, I don’t know shit about time management. And what’s more, even if I did, it probably wouldn’t help you.

Here is the brief rundown of things that happened this week:

• The sunflower plant is not taking sunflowers, so I have no night-shift work. My supervisor has been awesome about getting me time in the sample building doing adapted work that allows me to sit, so I can still get hours and get paid. Shout out for class solidarity.

• Someone at work had a health emergency, so the day shift was critically understaffed. Even more hours!

• More hours at grain inspection means more fatigue. No studio time. No admin time. I’m sleeping as late as possible, eating, going to work.

• I work. I can toss out a few business related emails and text messages during my shift.

• I come home. I eat. I take my edible because I don’t want to feel my legs anymore. I zone out til bed time. I sleep.

• On Wednesday I wake up early to go to the Rheumatologist. It’s a 60 mile drive one way. I get home and I manage to squeeze in a 60 minute nap between my appointment and work.

• On Thursday I wake up at 3:30 am to record a podcast at 4. My mic is cutting out and I am not awake enough to trouble shoot anything. I feel like a total goober because I can’t think at 4 a.m., and I was so excited for this interview. We reschedule for, like, the fifth or sixth time.

• We have a power outage at work on Thursday, which sets us behind by an hour on the canola trucks (power outages in grain unloading are a big deal. machines get stuck. it’s heavy shit). I stick around as long as I’m needed and head home.

Okay, so in between all that? I’m trying to call home to keep tabs on Mom, because we’re having a September heat wave with wildfire smoke in the air and mom is doing an outdoor project and dad and I are concerned about her exertion level.

so what’s the point, Elle?

Do you know what I have learned this week?

Time management is a bullshit concept.

We’re all just showing up, doing the best we can, and moving on to the next thing. I was late one day for my shift because my dog got into the bog again and I had to hose her down before I left. All of use worked late on Thursday because we had three power interruptions that messed up the entire flow of the facility where I work. We had over a dozen trucks backed up for over an hour waiting to be dumped. Not one ounce of “time management” could have helped any of that.

I have some sweet workflows working in my favor at my job. Workflows help me manage my time, I suppose. But they operate within the parameters of the timings of each of the machines. Time is managed for me, because most of the machines have timed processes. Even though I work faster at the beginning of my shift, and much, much slower at the end, the difference is only 5-10 seconds because the machines still work the same speed.

a messy conclusion

I haven’t worked this many hours since 2021. I do not care to repeat this any time soon. I have no time or capacity for art right now, and that is rough on me.

But here’s the thing: I am part of a community. And when there is an emergent situation, we step up and do what we can. I am not working a full shift; I am working less than half the hours of the other employees, and I sit a lot. But I’m doing my part to fill the gap. My time management — my need to take care of my body — looks really different.

My supervisor and I were talking at the end of the night last night, and we said, essentially this: the trucks will keep coming. and at the end of the day, they will all be dumped. All we can do is take them one at a time. I think that is as much a “be present” reminder as anything. I’m not going to worry about the 15th truck in line until he’s under that probe any more than I’m going to worry about other things that are not presently under my control.

and I guess that’s what I have to say about time management today.